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Y .Sunday, August 19, 2007.

well i tried to show Nikko this bloggy thing but it seems he's not showing interest and i guess he's having thoughts like "thea is so inta and emo and blah blah" idk.probably im feeling bedazzled again. why do i have to feel this way again? Ive been trying my best this past few weeks to let go of one disgusting feeling that i know would lead me to distraction.I think I've succeeded but you know what i still cant find the answers to my silly questions. Our computer shop was sold to my uncle and i work regularly every sunday. Isnt it weird right?Well my Mom had some debts owed to my Uncle but does he deserve to be payed with a thing that my Mom has worked hard for all these years? Thats quite too unfair if you're on the position of my Mom. What can we do? We couldnt stop whats bound too happen & you cant question reality. You know what Im so tired of this life if I could just escape in this cruel world now, I would really do it without hesitations. SOmetimes I just cant seem to understand everything. My sister is always moody- she would do unusual things to me if she wanted to borrow or ask something from me, my MOm always cries- and i think crying is now her favorite past time, and worst is? I have nowhere to go. Sometimes my boyfriend is so moody also, I dont know whats inside his head coz he doesnt tell me. Im scared to confront everything to him for i know it would hurt me thrice as much. im in the middle of this crossroad waiting for something to arrive. i know the doors that used to open for us are all now closed. where shall we head? is there something left for us at the end of the road?

If i could face God at this moment. I'll ask him for a thousand questions. It hurts to see my Mom suffering and it has affected us in some way. Sometimes I would seek for some things that could inspire me and make me happy temporarily but I know it would hurt everybody in the end. I dont want to cry and I dont want to think of things over and over again. If I could get over theses things, I would really want to. but sometimes you just cant force yourself to get rid of this bullshit. It keeps on hunting you wherever you go. I dont know whats destined for us? My dad is in Manila waiting for his papers. My mom is also waiting for her stupid birth certificate. and mee?im waiting for nowhere?

what the hell!!!! what should i do then?



YYY
  • shattered -
    5:47 AM